Embrace the Difficult

Though late, my resolution this year is to embrace the difficult.

My daughter, Katy, is an exceptional piano player.  She enjoys it and it comes easily to her.  She loves music and after bugging me for months, I rewarded her for doing well at her piano recital by signing her up for violin lessons.  Little did she know what she was getting herself into.

The violin is a harder instrument to make sound nice than the piano.  On the piano, you can have bad form and still hit the note well enough that it sounds fine.  That is not the case with the violin.  While her instructor keeps telling her that she has talent and the potential to be exceptional at it, she shies away from practicing because of the difficulty.  I have been encouraging her the best I can, emphasizing that what is truly impressive is not doing something that is easy or effortless, but what is hard or takes effort.

After repeating this to her enough, it occurred to me that she was not the only one avoiding hard things.  I see a lot of myself in my daughter; many things come easily to me, but it has made the cases when they do not come easily much tougher to overcome.  So, to be a good example, and to also make the most of my abilities, I decided that I need to embrace difficult things as well.

So, I wrote down all the things that I've been avoiding or not doing.  Little things, big things, life changing things.  After I had a list of these goals, I began right then trying to address them.  What I learned is that many of them are not difficult, only that I tend to be too lazy or have preconceived fears or notions about them.

For example, there were a number of people that I had been meaning to get in contact with, as well as finally ordering some new things for my computer, and taking my car to get the oil changed and tires rotated.  I would get to all of these eventually, but I tried to make a habit out of looking for the quick things that could be done that I was avoiding.  In some cases, I "multi-tasked:" while waiting for someone to give me a ride to lunch while waiting for my tires to be rotated, I called and made an appointment to give blood to the Red Cross, something I had been putting off for too long.  While getting my oil changed, I bought a larger bike for my daughter and did some quick grocery shopping.

Actively looking to do these things has already been making life better.  Finally taking care of "todos" that have been sitting around for too long is very rewarding and makes me hungry for addressing more.  The real payback is going to come from some of the larger goals that I have that I am now actively working to make happen.  Look for an update on my developer blog soon to read about my journey into Android development.

In Which I Ramble About Personal Projects and Such

This is a fairly stream-of-consciousness post where I ponder how to fit all the things I want to do into my day.  Enjoy it for what it is.

I spend most of my evenings doing "free-time" activities, mostly consisting of browsing the Internet, playing computer games and watching TV.  On occasion, I have been known to read a book.  Of course, there are times when something needs to be addressed and I take care of it.  But, for the most part, it leads to an evening that, while enjoyable, is devoid of any other benefit than entertainment.

I have things I plan and dream about, but don't take the time to implement.  Special events are good for addressing those times, like when I was able to leverage NaNoWriMo during November last year and wrote 50k words in a month.  But, that rough draft of a novel is in desperate need of editing, and I just cannot seem to find the time to even look at it again.  I have ideas for video games I'd like to write, but am not writing them.

Important things are being neglected: I don't exercise at all.  Really, I should be doing some sort of minimal exercising daily, but just cannot find the time.

I think I need to schedule things a little better.  If I can create a routine that I follow, it might make it easier.  Fortunately, since I have a daughter and have a routine for her, it might be easier to leverage her routine and plug my elements in as needed.

The first thing to address is my neglect of exercise.  While I have time to do this in the evening, it isn't normally considered a good idea to workout so close to bedtime.  So, that leaves me with the options of working out at lunch, or getting up earlier and working out before work.  Lunchtime is pretty limited with regard to how much time I can spend, and I would definitely need a shower if I did a full-fledged workout at lunchtime.  So, that leaves the morning. 

For me, the holy grail of getting more things done seems to be getting up an hour early, in that it is the solution to all my problems, while also being completely unattainable.  We have a fairly decent routine of the whole household waking up at 7am because of a shared alarm.  However, we are all still dragging our feet when it comes to getting up at that time.  If I was, somehow, able to follow through with my mythical "get up early and do x, y or z" plan, I would have every goal I ever set for myself accomplished before I even really began the day.  Whether or not it is attainable, this is really the ideal time for exercise for me.  I think I will have to just keep trying to get up early until it finally "sticks."

The other things I want to take care of are easy to place time wise, at least in theory.  Really, after Katy goes to bed, I should spend x amount of time on editing my book and y amount of time working on my video game development.  Problem with that is, Katy is in bed at 8:15: if I assume a minimum of an hour for each task, it is suddenly 10:15, not leaving much time for other things.  I tend to either give something all or nothing, and I switch between the modes.  When I was writing my novel in November, I really didn't spend time doing anything else.  Now, I am spending no time the novel at all.  Finding a happy medium and maintaining it I think would be a preferable strategy.

I come home for lunch nearly every day.  If I spent my lunch hour editing my novel, that would give about 30-45 minutes a day.  That would free up time after work for also making progress on my video game development.

Something that I have been doing at work is closely tracking my time.  Not only which projects I am spending time on, but also which tasks on those projects.  The very act of recording the time makes me aware of how I am spending it and makes it easier for me to look for other, smaller tasks to fill in gaps.  I am considering trying to log my non-work hours in a similar way, just to see how I am spending my free time.  It might become obvious how I can fit other things more easily into my day, or what I can cut out or reduce.

The Love of a Daughter

Yesterday, I went to Katy's class' "winter holiday" party at her Young Five's class.  She was so excited to see me, that once she noticed me, she had a hard time listening to the rest of the story being told by one of the older brothers of one of the kids.  She was waving, and calling out to me: "Daddy!  That's my daddy!"  I smiled, waved and put a finger to my lips.  When they were lining up to go to the different table stations (holiday bingo, reindeer ornament making and a "go to the colored square" game) she was having such trouble not calling out that she resorted to putting her hands over her mouth to help contain her excitement.

She wanted me to be by her the whole time.  I helped her make the reindeer (and then helped a bunch of other kids... sometimes these creative projects are maybe a little overzealous) and then served her a special soy icecream while the other kids had their icecream.  She wanted me to stay with her while she ate and didn't want me to leave, even when it was time for her to get on the bus.

I love that she loves me so.  Will she always be so excited to have me around?  I'd like to think so, and it is hard to imagine otherwise.  But, I know how kids are.  At some point, she'll be a little less excited to have me there.  And, probably will start to be embarrassed, at least a little.  But, I am pretty sure that we will always be pals, and that she will always love me, even if she isn't always excited to show it in front of her friends.

Avoiding the Rain

Last Friday, before I left work, there was a tornado warning. While it was uneventful where we were, the rain was coming down very hard. I always bring two umbrellas with me, both of which I had conveniently left in my car. It was around five, and I couldn't afford to wait it out, since we had to pick up a weekend guest at the airport.

Since I needed to leave and yet it was still raining hard, I came up with a plan. It was a brilliant, complicated, well-though-out plan; I decided that I would quickly bolt the short distance between my workplace and my car.

It worked effectively enough: my shirt was barely wet when I got to my car. The only minor oversight I had made was the large volumes of water that had become a lake in the parking lot. So severe were the puddles that I didn't even notice that it wasn't just the parking lot itself. While the run was short, my pants were soaked after the first step into that mess.

Later that weekend, on Sunday afternoon, there was another tornado warning. This time, I was at home already, with Katy and her visiting Gram. So, while I was able to avoid getting wet due to the rain, the storm caused a power outage that lasted until Monday.

I went out and bought ice as soon as I called the power company and learned that it wasn't scheduled to be repaired prior to Wednesday (they were wrong). When Kendra returned home, we transported our frozen goods to various freezers distributed across the city.

First, we stopped at my workplace and filled the freezer there. Fortunately, all the ice cream had been purchased and had not yet been replaced, so there was plenty of space.

Next, we ran to the church where Kendra volunteers and were able to find space for a couple items in one of their extra fridges.

We found a home for the rest of the stuff at a friend's who still had power and was kind enough to share their freezer space with us.

So, last weekend started with me getting all wet and ended with a rushed transportation of food. While it could be thought of as annoying or irritating, it didn't really bug me. I was amused by my saturating oversight and the lack of power and finding a temporary home for our food was a mini adventure of sorts.

A Mouse in the House

Every once in awhile, I'll need to open the cupboard to get a dish. Absentmindedly, I'll walk up to the cupboard...



which looks like any normal cupboard. But, it is easy, much too easy to forget the horror which awaits within



Terror itself lives within our house. A monstrosity greets us, every time we need to eat.


Mousey was a gift from Kendra ages ago. He is a handwarmer: you toss him in the microwave for 15 seconds and then hold it in your hands when they are cold. For whatever reason, I put him in our cupboard and the location just stuck.

Routinely, I'll forget that he is there. When I open the cupboard, I am surprised and it brings a smile to my face. The absurdity of finding mousey in the cupboard is added to when I recall that he will occasionally wear the origami paper viking helmet that I sometimes fold, making him look like a little mousey-bishop.

I guess the point is that sometimes little things can help set a happy tone for the rest of the day.

My Stickers For My Daughter Are Mine Again

When I was young, as many children do, I collected a variety of things. I had a baseball card collection (I still do... I should see if it is worth anything... hmmm) and a sticker collection. As the conservative, pack rat, save-it-for-a-rainy-day-and-beyond kind of boy I was, I didn't dare actually stick the stickers anywhere.

In one case, I had sent away and ordered a series of stickers by Lisa Frank from Pineapple. Of course, when I received them, I opened the brown envelope they came in, inspected them, and promptly put them away to be barely looked at again.

As time progressed, my interests changed. I stopped with the collections, but of course never discarded my existing ones. The stickers stayed in their envelope with the rest of the stickers.

And, I moved out. My stuff got boxed and was moved with me. It was never unpacked. I moved again, and again. The unused stickers were kept, buried in my collection of junk, stored somewhere in the basement.

Then, Katy was born. And she grew. And, it as it turns out, she likes stickers. And, most importantly (and thankfully) she doesn't have the same hangup about keeping everything that I did. In particular, she loves sticking stickers on everything. So, when we needed to go beyond simple stars for the potty chart, I remembered that I had a bunch of stickers that were well suited for a little girl. Of course, she loved them and was excited to get them for going on the potty.

Eventually, Katy didn't need the incentive for going on the potty. But, she didn't forget about the stickers. She will still decide that she should be entitled to a "potty sticker" on a whim, claiming she did a good job going to the potty that day. I just smile and let her have one, since the intended purpose is passed.

The fun part is that she will decide that not only did she do a good job going potty, but that I have done a good job, too. So, she will reward me with one of my old stickers, which I get to wear on my shirt. It took me twenty years to finally use these stickers, and it is my daughter who is doing it for me.

The Motivational Morning

Although I sometimes have a hard time waking up and getting moving, there is a part of the morning that I love. Regardless of how the previous day went, walking from my car to work, with the sun overhead, I get a sense of newness: a sense that anything is possible and that I will accomplish the unaccomplishable this day.

Sure, it doesn't mean anything: I still have crappy days now and then, but it doesn't change the pleasant contentment and optimism for the future that I feel at that moment. And, maybe it does mean something; starting the day with a positive outlook has to affect productivity.

I wonder if I could artificially manufacture the conditions that cause this inspiration. This morning, it was sunny, cloudless (or mostly clear) and very cold, with snow blanketing the ground. I had just dropped my daughter off at her school / daycare and had a pleasant and loving goodbye. But, the feeling really struck me during the short walk from the car to the office. Maybe it is the scenery, which might explain why so many people seem to enjoy the inspirational scenic posters.

The Perception of Time and Time Trials

The way time is perceived is known to change, varying on the task at hand. Typically, if it is an enjoyable activity, the time flies by. Conversely, if the task is less enjoyable, time progresses at a snail's pace. In my life, I have encountered enjoyable activities that take less time than I would assume. There are two example of these activities, and both involve Katy.

When I was signing Katy up for swim class, I was surprised that the classes lasted a measly 30 minutes. "What could possibly be taught in such a short period of time?" I wondered. At the first class, I learned that thirty minutes was exactly the right amount. It didn't feel like the class dragged, and yet it seemed that Katy had an opportunity to learn and do a large variety of activities in the water. Even the five minutes of play at the end was just right.

Another activity that we recently experienced our fair share of was Bounceland. Katy was invited to two parties, both structured the same way, with a week between the two. The first part of the party is an hour of bouncing, followed by some time after to eat cake and open birthday presents. The number of times you get to go on the bouncy slides in an hour is much more than you would guess, if you didn't really think about it. An hour was plenty, but I thought it was going to feel short.

These misperceptions about how long was enough caused me to reflect on other things that occur in my life and how long I believe them to take and how long they really take. Already, considering these different things has helped me to either do things that I previously avoided because I thought they took too long as well as looking for ways to reduce time on things that I thought weren't taking that long. The big item I considered was showering.

One way to categorize those who shower is by time spent showering. Really, it seems like there are two groups: those who are quick and are on a mission to get clean, and those who are slow and forget why they entered the soothing, blissful warmth. I am in the second group. Since I know that I might take a little longer in the shower than I thought, I decided to start tracking how long it takes, followed by time trials.

I needed two showers today. This morning, it took 29 minutes in the shower, plus another 12 to finish getting ready. Tonight, I decided to try to stop lolly-gagging and go for a best time. It only took 8 minutes in the shower, with another 4.5 minutes to finish. The point is that often all it takes to improve the time of something is to realize how long it is taking and then trying to change it.